1.    you’re 1 year old. welcome to the world! your parents give you an english name and a
       chinese one

2.    you’re 2 years old. are you excited to have a new brother? your parents want to give him
       a name that matches yours

3.    you’re 3 years old and mom and dad like to sit on park benches while watching you play
       with other chinese kids in your neighborhood

4.    you’re 4 years old and your grandparents come to visit america from across the globe, but
       your lackluster chinese skills leave conversations hollow

5.    you’re 5 years old. in kindergarten, you learn your abcs, how to count on your fingers,
       and that bringing dumplings or tomato egg rice for school lunch makes you different
       from all the other kids

6.   you’re 6 years old and your father’s company is moving across the country. you’re one of
       5 chinese students at your new school

7.    you’re 7 years old. watching fresh off the boat religiously makes you feel a little bit better
       about things

8.    you’re 8 years old when you visit your family in china for the first time. your uncle points
       to a takeout menu written in chinese and asks what characters you recognize. he looks
       disappointed when you say you can’t read any of it

9.    you’re 9 years old and a boy at school comes up to you and stretches the skin next to his
       eyes. he thinks he looks like you. you think he looks like an idiot

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10.  you’re 10 years old. you download duolingo and practice your chinese every day. you
       pick up some new phrases and try casually dropping them into conversations with your
       parents

11.  you’re 11 years old when you start middle school. in march of 6th grade, the 
       pandemic turns a painful disease into hate with a high infection rate

12.  you’re 12 years old and you read a poetry collection written by a chinese girl attending
       the preparatory school you want to go to. even though you’ve never met her, her words
       inspired you to use your voice

13.  you’re 13 years old putting together application materials for preparatory school. a few
       months after adding in your prose piece written about your ethnicity, you get a
       congratulations email for your spot in the class of 2026

14.  you’re 14 years old, and you can hold a conversation with your grandparents in china
       over video chats. you feel a sense of belonging in your identity despite the 12-hour time
       difference between your house and theirs

15.  you’re 15 years old. you say 晚安 and 我爱你 to your parents before bed, you enjoy a
       good bowl of tomato egg rice for lunch, and you learn to love both your english and
       chinese name

____​

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translation
晚安: goodnight
我爱你: i love you

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